Girl let me tell you…
I have been battling as to whether or not I wanted to address this in a public sphere or not, but I hope that everyone bares with me because I just have to be honest…
I am getting sick and tired...
Sick and tired of the color-ism dialogue and I mean that I am getting SICK AND TIRED.
Now, let me state a few things that I know to be so very true before I start my rant:
1.) Color-ism is real because it is real in its consequences
2.) I by NO means am unaware of the fact that if you can pass or if you appear to be a more palatable minority that you can be granted opportunities that the rest of us cannot.
3.) I completely understand, know, and believe that the consequences for having darker pigmentation are real and people face this truth on a daily basis..
That does not stop me from being SICK AND TIRED of the ways in which we address it.
Here are my issues:
1.) Why must we address it in public spheres (I have good reason, for this I swear)
2.) Why do we completely minimize someone’s competencies because of their shade?
So let’s dive into the public sphere argument.
We all know the history behind color-ism and slavery in the U.S. To put it in lay-men’s terms… Being light meant that you could be a house slave and if you were dark you were out in the fields.
**Please do not try and convince me that either of these experiences were okay, you will get blocked
It has been ingrained in the African-American experience that having lighter skin somehow makes you superior. I am aware of the history ( I also know that I made a very minimalist sentence concerning the history, I am aware it is much more than that, I will write a history lesson another day). The problem that I have is when I am scrolling down my IG feed and I see someone on the shaderoom speaking about Cardi B and her “caricature” existence and the fact that she only got where she is because she is fair skin and that we as a culture only appreciate fair skin women. I have a problem…
I don’t have a problem with this being an opinion.. No sir, everyone is entitled to having those. What I have a problem with is the fact that this conversation is open to the public. See, J Cole hinted to this very recently when he spoke on the fact that people want to know what it is like to be black so they will listen to music, do drugs, heck even wear box braids and try to sneak into a cookout. So, if they want to be one of us so bad… Don’t you think they follow something like The Shade Room? There is no exclusivity to the site just an FYI. This site is not For Us By Us exclusively people. The problem is, that onlookers can see this and say to themselves “Hm… Well, they think that being lighter is better and it helps you become more successful so clearly me thinking this is okay too”…. Um no mam… Why not call up shorty and tell her this in private? Now, I am no celebrity so I don’t know what it is like to have my every word quoted or misconstrued, but what I do know is that some battles should not be fought in public. I have NO idea what it was like for Cardi B coming up. I have NO idea what she had to do to get where she is. As a woman, I am rooting for her; because I am not a crab in a damn barrel. I am a brown skin woman who does not envy or feel as though my existence and success is contingent upon whether or not a fairer skinned woman succeeds. Am I aware that in certain professions they might obtain a position over me even if I am more qualified? Hell yeah. Again, my problem is where you discuss it. I don’t want another reason for ‘them’ to think that it is okay to continue to have the light is right conversation. What is my proposed solution? Talk in places with us, about these things. Save this dialogue for us. They don't understand our struggle and they can't understand our differences. Please, take it inside.
Secondly, y'all better cut it out diminishing our sisters worth because they are lighter in tone.
I have two younger sisters.. One of whom is very fair skin.
She is a whopping 13 years old and is already 5’6 and she might be 80 pounds soaking wet. The girl looks like she was born for the run way. Extremely coarse hair (4c to the core actually) however it is basically as long as her torso. If she grows up to be a model, I better not hear one of you clowns saying the only reason she got there is because she is fair skin. My sister does not like beef. She doesn’t like any other meat except for chicken. Give that girl some chicken and she is good to go. So let’s recap something real quick: You have a girl who has tall family members, one fair skin parent (my mom is chocolate baby), and a diet that excludes beef completely! (If you didn’t know, excluding all other meats except for chicken is a hell of a way to lose weight). The girl hasn’t eaten it in over 4 years and has no intention of placing it in her diet, plus she does something I never mastered.. She only eats when she is hungry…. (I eat, cause it’s there). I go in depth about this because her life circumstances have placed her in a very convenient location. If my liquor loving, chocolate chip cookie dough sneaking, and pizza hoarding ass may have cut back I just might have the shape she did too, but I don’t. If my sister goes that route with her life it will be because my mothers genes of looking 12 at 49 are present, her father was fair skin, she only eats chicken, and the girl is a hard worker. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am sure that there could be a girl with the same story who is of a darker tone that may not be granted all of the opportunities that my sister would but what I am trying to get people to realize is that by saying “the ONLY” reason you are somewhere is negating the experience and talents that they may exude. It is not like my sister sat in my mother’s womb and said “Hey God, if you make me dark skin we scrappin’ “… You live with the hand you are dealt and in some ways that may help you and in others it may harm you. If they made a biopic of Lupita and wanted to cast her realistically guess who would get laughed out of the casting call? My youngest sister… However my middle sister who is a radiant chocolate may get a call back…
There is nothing wrong with being aware of the ways in which privilege works. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging the realities that we face.
There is something wrong with diminishing our fellow sisters existence. There is something wrong with contributing negatively to the overall dialect. There is something wrong with not empowering those around you.
So the next time you find yourself trying to diminish someone's existence and or their success, please take a step back. Always remember that the crabs in the barrel mentality only hurts us as a collective.
There is room for all of us, we just have to be willing to share.
We can do it sis, just trust the journey.