So let’s call a spade a spade….
Some of us have been judging people, responding to situations, and creating friction because we are insecure.
I know that we are in this age of addressing our insecurities and trying to be “emotionally intelligent” but honestly, sometimes they just come spilling over.
If you don’t have anything in your life that you are insecure about you can go ahead and stop reading now because this won’t be of any use to you.
Now that we have cleared that up.. Y’all sometimes I struggle.
Let me show you how my insecurities have shown up:
“I just don’t get girls that do their makeup every day like that seems to expensive and it seems time consuming I just don’t get it” -Raven. Now look at me being a pick me and allowing my insecurities to SCREAM all at the same time. What I really needed to address within myself is the fact that my mother never wore makeup and I didn’t really have anyone to show me how to do it and I am hairy as hell (sideburns, peach fuzz above my lip, neck hair, shit I am just hairy). By the time I could watch Youtube videos to try and learn I was so embarrassed and I became so comfortable with my “every day face” that I just didn’t learn. But it is truly an art and a skill that I think is beautiful but I just never stepped into. Not until now! I may not be able to beat my face just yet, but I am getting there lol.
My insecurities also used to show up BIG time with my shape. How on earth I end up shaped like a blonde white women circa 1998… I mean large breasts…. no hips… and an ass that is merely used to make sure that I can sit in a chair. I said what I said. What I would have given to be shaped differently… My insecurities would show up and make me feel inferior everytime a woman was shaped “beautifully” aka like a coke bottle, and all I could think to myself was “damn, why not me?” I kept trying to tell myself I didn’t care but I truly did.
See my insecurities in the areas listed above and in so many other areas would show up in the ways I interacted with my friends, family, relationships, work, everything really. I couldn’t look at anyone else and accept their beauty, strength, or power without questioning my own.
Back in the day I would have been one of those girls who told their boyfriend to unfollow curvy girls on social media.
I would have been one of those girls who equated a woman’s sexual expression as something that she was doing for the attention of men… (CRINGE)
I would have been TRASH.. honestly.. TRASH…
I know that it is a touchy subject but I really challenge you to take a step back and see why you may be reacting to something the way that you are…
Are you not supporting your friends relationship because you are jealous that they are headed down the aisle while your man won’t commit to you the way you really want him to?
Are you telling your friend not to take a job in another state because you fear having to navigate a long distance friendship?
Are you projecting the insecurities you have about your own looks onto someone else and not accepting their beauty for what it is?
Are you saying that your friend who is posting their business/passion on their IG consistently is doing the most because you secretly wish that you could go after your own dreams?
You see…. what we don’t realize is that our insecurities are usually the loudest things in the room.
Embrace yourself and the things that you make you insecure with open arms.
Address them, GO TO THERAPY, find the beauty in them…
They are going to have as much control over you as you allow for them to.
Show up for yourself in a new way.
We can do it sis, just trust the journey.