Where do I even start?
I have so much to tell you and I need you to brace yourself.
You are 28 years old and life looks a bit different… I know what you had planned for yourself at this age but just hear me out… Things are better!
I do have a few pieces of advice for you hopefully you are in a place to receive them.
1.) Love shouldn’t feel like a burden.
When you find yourself in places and with people that make loving you feel like a task, you have the power to get up and leave. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone but yourself. You are going to learn a lot of lessons in the name of “love” but I promise they will be worth it. Remember to ask yourself “does this serve who I want to become?”. You don’t have to take the scraps of half hearted affection and try to make magic out of them. You deserve to be loved proudly, holistically, and unwaveringly. Stand your ground. Don’t compromise your worth. Your true love is in fact coming.
2.) The journey is the prize.
That tattoo on your shoulder, read it again and again. I am typing this message from the home you bought all by yourself. You just got done working your corporate 6 figure job for the day. You are about to be greeted by the love of your life and eat pizza for dinner. Sis, you have “arrived” in your 18 year old definition of things. You want to know what you are thinking before you go to bed every night? “So what’s next”. Stop focusing so much on the destination. You will get there, Jeremiah 29:11 said that a long time ago. The journey is where you should find happiness. The little moments when you stumble, LAUGH. The moments you get to spend with your family, GET OFF YOUR PHONE. USE ALL OF YOUR PTO. Just whatever you do, enjoy every twist and turn that you encounter. I promise, it gets better.
3.) Don’t like the job? LEAVE
Pack up your office and put in your two weeks today sis. I mean it. Leave that job that is not serving you. Don’t compromise your health or your happiness just to remain in good standing with a “job”. Your time is far too precious to exchange simply for money. Don’t let them intimidate you into thinking that you don’t have what it takes to be the “top dog”. You hold your head high and make them eat their words! Remember, you only get to do this thing once.
4.) You are BEAUTIFUL
I know that it is not going to feel like that because you are in predominantly white spaces and no one appreciates your beauty but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. You have a smile that can light up a room. Your shape is beautiful and although it is not “conventional” don’t doubt the power in your thighs, the sexiness in your hips, and the allure of your lips. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and embrace the fact that you are whole and beautiful without any validation.
5.) You are the main character of your story
Stop trying to be the supporting actress of your own story. You don’t need to proceed with caution or allow someone else to dictate your future. You don’t have to run every decision by them. You don’t need their support in everything you do. You don’t have to wait for them to give you permission. This is your story. You have the authority to close a chapter when it is no longer serving you even if no one else agrees. You have the authority to go after what you want because you deserve all good things. Stop asking people who have never been where you’re going for directions. You are already equipped with everything you need for your journey.
6.) People come in your life for seasons
You have to be okay with the fact that people are going to come and go. Even the ones that have been with your for decades. You don’t have to beg anyone for their presence in your life. Allow people to go freely and set boundaries that are healthy for you. God is NEVER going to allow someone to leave your life that doesn’t need to go. In addition, their position in your life is probably being supplemented in another way so look for that! You don’t need to be so caught up in keeping people that you keep what doesn’t serve you anymore. You are going to GROW. I mean GROW and everyone that was with you in Act 1 is not ready to come with you to Act 2 and that is okay. Enjoy what has been and embrace what is to come.
7.) Try new things
I know that you get a bit nervous when new things are presented but you never know what you like until you try. Take that trip. Try that food. Message that boy first. Flirt with that stranger. Take up a new hobby. Try knitting. Do a home renovation project. If it isn’t going to harm you or someone else… Try it. Life is very short. You are going to lose a lot of people over the next 10 years and I know they would all want you to live life to the fullest. So go ahead, try it.
Raven, you are a work of art. You are complex, memorable, and passionate. Don’t run away from things because you think someone else can do them better. Embrace your feelings. Laugh uncontrollably. Be less critical of others. Open your heart and open it again. I promise it all works out and if it hasn’t worked out yet…. it is not over. Pick your head up, someone is inspired by what you are doing even if they never tell you.
We can do it sis, just trust the journey.