Girl let me tell you....
I am being Punk'd by this thing called life. Let me tell you why..
Remember growing up in school they would say "If you work hard, all your dreams will come true." I call bull s*&^. I have worked my ass off and I am sitting here still trying to find a dream to follow. Why is it that people automatically assume you have your career desires figured out when you are five? Add twenty more years to that and I still am looking at job postings like "Well, I guess that sounds cool but I don't really know what I want to do". I see on my timeline and even hear stories in real life from people and they seem to have it all figured out... I am just trying to figure out why I am struggling so much?
If I see one more woman with a loving husband/fiancé, nice family, she is active in the church, loves her career, has beautiful twins, and looks like her skin has never had a blemish I am going to slide in her DM's myself. I am just going to be blunt and say "Hey sis, I see your life is flourishing, what the hell is the formula?" I am feeling like Plankton! I do not know the damn Craby Patty formula but it seems like they are passing it out while I am sleeping or something.
Now don't get me wrong, I have NO idea what that woman had to go through to get where she is, and I by no means want to see her lose what she has. I am just asking for a seat at the same table. I am intelligent, I work my fingers to the bone, and I believe in helping my community..... But your girl is STRUGGLING.
I am blessed with a beautiful life, a powerful God, wonderful friends, a dysfunctionally functional family, great love, and amazing opportunities. I don't want to come off as if my life is in the trenches because that would be a gross overstatement, but have you ever just wanted more? Have you ever just wanted the career of your dreams to find you? Have you ever just wanted to be the girl that got to follow that dream she has had since she was child? Have you ever just wanted the guy to act like he cares in the beginning, middle, and on-going even when you slept in your bonnet wrong and you look like Nat Turner in the morning? Have you ever just wanted to be the girl that finally got it together and wasn't crying in Wendy's bathrooms or self medicating by eating a double bacon cheeseburger with a large fry and a carton of Häagen-Dazs?
Well sis, let me just tell you... I know why I haven't gotten all of these things. I haven't been able to humble myself enough to realize that my journey is my own. They say that comparison is the thief of joy... Well let me tell you that on many occasions my timeline "has ave de stwength uf de bleck pwincess stripped ehwey"...... I have zoomed in and thought that if someone else is succeeding I automatically should be in a comparable place... That is the farthest thing from true.
"Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters."- Frederick Douglas
Life is not going to roll over and give us things. We have to fight, cry, bleed, and scream until we get what we want. The beauty is that when we get there it will be that much sweeter to taste. There are no shortcuts and I know that the journey can be long and hard but I know that I have to endure it all. I have to run this race at my own pace and trust in my journey.
We can do it sis, just trust the process.