" Fight Back"
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."- MLKJ
I went on a little "BaeCation" weekend with my boyfriend to Tulsa in January and I had no idea that the trip would leave such a lasting impression on me. We stayed at an AirBnB and we asked our host what was going on in the area that weekend and she mentioned the Women's March. I guess I was living under a rock because I had no idea that weekend in particular women around the entire country would be gathering together to vocalize, mobilize, and reinforce the importance of our rights, equal treatment, and representation to name just a few. As soon as she mentioned it my boyfriend could see the fire in my eyes. We woke up the next morning, made signs, and it was time to march. I was overwhelmed once we got to the site for the march. I saw woman of all ages, races, nationalities, religions, socioeconomic status, gender identity and expression and sexual orientation. Typically when you try and converse with people in normal settings about things like women's equality and the constant reinforcement of rape culture people are off put and you end up looking "crazy" for telling people they are blinded by their ignorance and privilege. This is the first place where I truly felt as though my voice, well our voices, were truly being listened to.
I used to be one of those ignorant girls who would say things like "women have just as many opportunities as men", "women were meant to be the help mate to a man not meant to take over the world", "women just have a different role and we have to be okay with that"...... Let me tell you why I believe that all of those thoughts were hurtful to not only myself but all of the women around me.
1.) Saying that women have the same opportunities completely negates the harsh reality of the women who go to work and are paid only a fraction of what their male counterparts are. It is a PROVEN fact that black women are the most educated grouping of people in the United States and yet they make less than white men with less education..... Are people going to keep trying to say that this is a coincidence? Let me guess, the education doesn't matter? Well tell that to the billion dollar industry of higher education.....
2.) Women are not an accessory to a man. I don't want to hear any of those Bible thumpers telling me or any other women that they are ONLY a help mate.... You mean to tell me that the same God that used Ruth and Esther to completely revolutionize the history of the world and the creation of Jesus himself are ONLY help mates... You must have skipped over both of those chapters because these are examples of STRONG, COURAGEOUS, GROUNDBREAKING women.. We are dynamic creatures and yes we can be a helpmate, but please don't insult anyone's existence by saying that is all they are good for.
3.) Women do not have to be okay with anything that perpetuates our mistreatment, our misrepresentation, or the dwindling of our worth. Our role is what we make it and the world will have to be okay with that. We can be the technical programmer, construction worker, CEO, firefighter, police officer, doctor, lawyer, or anything else that we want to be.
Believing these negative things about myself and the women around me had me believing things that I can't even stomach now. We teach girls not to wear tank tops in high school because men can't control themselves... Where is the instruction for men not to objectify women? If I told all men not to wear grey sweats to the gym because I can't concentrate I would be wrong right? See women are taught from a young age to control ourselves and to be respectful and I am guessing teaching young boys the same would be too much... Copy.... It seems to me like this country loves "alternative facts"....
Women are the carriers of life, the home to the future, and the backbone of this world. We are strong, intelligent, passionate, capable, interesting, charismatic, determined, devoted, and miraculous.
To all of the women out there:
Black girls: Keep loving yourselves and being the backbone for your community, your time is coming.
Transwomen: You are my sister and nothing less.
LGBQAA women: I stand with you and despite what they may say, you are loved deeply and deserve respect.
Conservative women: There is a space in the revolution for you as well, just be willing to listen.
All women: I may not know all of your struggles and I may not have exposure to your particular situation, but I support and encourage you to keep pushing.
We are women, hear us ROAR.