Charged Up
Thank you for putting the battery in my back Drizzy
"That's a real one, in your reflection without a follow, without a mention. You really pipin' up on these N!@#$$ You gotta be nice for what to these N!@#$$?"
I heard this song the morning after it dropped and I couldn't stop playing it. There is a constant misconception in our culture that I think Drake had the balls enough to address. Social media has convinced us that somehow women will be validated by how many women crush wednesday posts we are featured on, how many times we are mentioned in a post, or how many people are sliding in our DMS. Since when does my worth hinge on a man or his lust after me?
I chose this photo of myself in particular because I remember exactly what I was going through in this point in my life. I had just gone through a break up, for a relationship I should have never been in, and I felt like I needed someone to validate who I was. I just knew that I would post this on IG and I would make everyone's head turn. Now I don't prescribe to the notion that a woman can't dress or present herself in any way she damn well pleases, but I think I was doing it all for the wrong reasons. I was not empowered, I was insecure. I felt like my life wasn't working out the way that I planned and that if I didn't find a way to have someone feenin over me that people would look at me as if something was wrong with me... But you know what is even worse than that mindset?
I didn't give a damn about what I thought about myself....
I couldn't have sat in a room for ten straight minutes with just my thoughts. I am talking no technology, no distractions, no sleeping just me addressing who I am. That was the time that I realized that I needed a change but I didn't know how to fix myself. It would take another failed relationship and a dramatic turn of events for me to realize that everything that I need to validate myself is housed inside of me.
Whether it is one like, one hundred, or one million the person's approval that I need the most is mine. This is my life and I only get one of them. Why would I want to look back saying that I spent it chasing that guy from college I never had the guts to tell I had a crush on or the one who must have thought I was mute because he made me so nervous I couldn't speak.. But who are they?
I have a masters degree, a retirement plan, life insurance (that makes me an adult right?), and the audacity to believe in myself. Ladies, you have to be nice for what to these N!@#$$? Place that same energy into something you are passionate about and if you don't have a passion spend that time finding one! Our prize at the end of this race called life won't be a man (or woman), it will be our legacy and that is something we can achieve with just ourselves and the BIG man upstairs.
This is your life sis! Text him back or ignore it forever but whatever you do, do it for YOU.