Girl… Let me tell you
I have been in the valley of OPP.
Yes I said it, the valley of OPP!
So, I have not been writing on my blog or doing many of the things that I typically do because I have been concerned with other people’s property, plight, publications, personalities… Hell, I have been concerned with other peoples everything at this point. Now, don’t get me wrong I am always one to mind my business, but I have been concerned with the ways in which others are progressing and I feel like I am just standing still.
I told myself that this was going to be my year and the negative voices in my mind have convinced me that no matter how hard I try, I am always five steps behind.
Can I be really honest?
By the age 26 I wanted to be:
Married, expecting my first child, having traveled to Europe at least twice, a career that I loved making six figures if not close to it, hair down my back, and down at least 15 pounds.
Can I tell you where I actually am?
26. I got a BAE ( lifetime bae fingers crossed, but I am not even engaged). I have two dogs, kids aren’t even on the radar. The closest I have been to Europe is Pizza Hut. My full time job makes me want to pull the two edges I have out of my head. (Praises to the most high that I plan weddings part time cause that does get me by). I make enough to ensure that my bills don’t go overdue. My hair has been the same length since birth I SWEAR. I have gained at least 10 pounds.
Needless to say your girl is NOT and I repeat NOT where I was hoping I was going to be and the highlight reels I see on IG have been tripping me OUT. I look at other people like “I wish I could do this or that” and I compare my life ( foolish I know). This has been haunting me and keeping me bound to feelings of insecurity and defeat.
I have even started to get mad at other people for the fact that I am not where I want to be. Now sis, how dumb do I sound?!
I did what I was supposed to do though you know?
In school they teach you to do the following:
1.) Go to college= Did it and racked up a bunch of awards, honor societies, plaques, etc.
2.) Get a masters degree= Did it while working two jobs, maintaining a long distance relationship, and training a puppy & graduated with a 3.78
3.) Don’t have kids willy nilly= Uterus bout empty as hell
4.) Don’t mess up your credit= Credit score always in the Green on the thermometer
So why the hell am I still sitting here looking at life like “what the hell am I supposed to do?!”
Well, if there is anything that I have had to learn it is that comparing yourself to the highlight reel of others is toxic and will make you lose sight of your blessings.
I complained in all of the ways I am not where I want to be but I didn’t mention anything I have to be thankful for.
What about the fact that":
I get to plan & design weddings whenever I please (and I create AMAZING looking weddings), I have two adorable puppies who love me dearly, I play volleyball and LOVE it, I coach volleyball to children, I organize community service events for my friends, I have traveled to: New York, Mexico, Phoenix, Kansas City, Oklahoma City, DC, and Dallas all within the past year.
& that is just to name a few of the things I have to be thankful for.
There is so much more to life than comparing yourself to others. What you have and what you experience is unique to you. Be confident in that. Realize how blessed you are. The more you pour into what you do have, the more it will grow. If you are using all of your water growing other people’s plants with your thoughts and envy your own will surely die.
Feel free to step out of the valley of OPP with me.
We can do it sis, just trust the journey.