Girl let me tell you….
I stopped writing and keeping up with my blog shortly after I created it…
You wanna know why? Well, let’s say it is a combination of embarrassment, insecurities, and laziness.
I had a vision for this and at the first sign of chaos I gave up. I wanted this badly to be a place for the uplifting of women and a place for women to be transparent about their shortcomings and their journey. Well, I can’t believe that I couldn’t even stick to my own script and the more that I didn’t write or update the blog the worse I felt.
See I have struggled for a while now thinking that what I do and what I say is not good enough. It has never been good enough for my family to listen, never been good enough for a “boyfriend” to consistently listen, and never good enough to keep people overall interested. That is at least what I thought to myself.
I sat in my room and cried and truly felt myself slipping into a depression because I thought that the people around me would react differently and I thought that my writing would be the catalyst to my becoming more relevant to the world……
Now re read that paragraph and tell me if you have ever been in the same boat….
Let me tell you right now, if you keep waiting for everyone else to appreciate or support your vision you will always be alone. It is no one else’s job to carry your dream or your vision to the finish line. Now, those who truly love and care for you will support you consistently and they will be there along the way (be sure to notice who those people are and separate yourself from those who claim to support you and do not), but it is your job to carry yourself.
When you are so desperate for approval and to be seen you start to lose sight of yourself. When you want to be heard so badly that you scream you can’t hear the encouraging whispers. When you are so quick to react to whatever you feel is happening, you never still your mind long enough to obtain peace.
I created this as a place to empower so how can I stop my work when I am feeling sorry for myself? What about all of the other women who feel exactly how I do? I am stripping them of their voice. Stripping them of their encouragement.
“You can be pitiful or you can be powerful” –Joyce M.
Listen to that quote. You can’t be both at the same time. Pick yourself up by your boot straps and understand that you can do all of the things that you desire however you have to be willing to do the work. I am tired of crying in my living room over what I believe didn’t go well. I am tired of living in fear. I am tired of looking at my life from the passive view. My words are all I have, and that is all that I need.
We all internally have everything that we need. Your power is within.
We can do it sis, just trust the journey.