Can I be honest with you guys for a moment?
I feel EXHAUSTED and without hope.
Between digesting everything in the media, the civil unrest, the constant conversations around blatant racism, the loss of important figures, looking for a new job, battling with my weight, and watching my dog I AM TIRED. I don’t mean I need a good nights sleep tired, I mean I need a mental break tired.
I have been having these anxiety attacks that have made sleeping a chore and I feel like all of the progress I made with my health is basically out of the window.
Lately I have felt rage, isolated, confused, and hopeless.
I haven’t exactly known how to navigate all of these feelings, but there is one underlying message that I know to be true.
My thoughts/feelings are MINE to control and I can’t allow for them to control me.
I don’t know about you, but when I get into a rut my thoughts continue to tell me that I am alone and things will not get better.
I know that this isn’t true deep down in my heart, but in the moment it all feels so real. The feelings of loneliness, restlessness, and confusion.
I sometimes feel like there is no light at the end of my tunnel.
But that is when I straighten up my shoulders and realize that I am in complete control over my thoughts.
I WILL get out of bed today
I WILL be kind to someone
I WILL make a difference in this world
You see, whether you believe in God or the universe I think we can all agree that there is something that fights against you (Satan or evil spirits).
I am talking about those things that take the joy out of your day.
Those things that make a bad day even worse.
Those things that make you believe that trying is useless because you tried before and it is all hopeless.
Let me tell you a secret: THEY ARE LYING TO YOU.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are NOT alone.
You deserve to show up for yourself time and TIME again.
You WILL get through this and if you have not gotten through it yet, it is NOT the end. God’s timing is perfect.
You need to keep your head up and keep trying.
You are not defeated, you are simply going through some refining.
Your life doesn’t have to always be a struggle, even if you came from the struggle.
You deserve to have the life you have always dreamed of.
I challenge you to go talk to your therapist. If you don’t have a therapist, I am going to need you to get one. I challenge you to take a walk. I challenge you to get out of bed and try again today. I challenge you to think of what ifs BOTH ways.
What I mean by that is you control the way your thoughts sway:
What if it doesn’t work… What if it does?
What if you don’t get the job.. What if you do?
What if the relationship doesn’t work out…. What if it does?
What if I am not supposed to start my own business… What if you are?
Pray about it. Meditate on it. Collaborate with God on it.
Don’t trust your negative thoughts because they only have the power to see you where you are right now.
Your mind only has the capacity to envision your life as it has been, it does not have the true model for all of your potential.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your potential. Believe in the fact that NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.
Have confidence in the way you are fighting through this journey.
I hope that you find your way, I hope that you love on yourself, and I hope that you remember that things truly will get better.
It all starts with your thoughts.
WE got this sis, just trust the journey.